Tutoring Bamboo Forest

With every student I work with, I always ask them to read through Turning the Tide as thoroughly as possible before the first session. So far, few students read through it from front to back and are perfectly ready for the in-depth discussion by the beginning of the lesson; such students are a rare breed. And as rare as they are, working together with them brings me an absolute joy and makes my day.

Some students give it at least a try, if they do not understand it fully; I appreciate the efforts they have put into it, and I try my best to help them. And of course, some others attempt to pull off a time-tested trick that they honed through their high school life—that is, “I’ve read it but I don’t remember much.” Thankfully, most of them seem to have a change of heart by the end of the first lesson, and by the next meeting, they are ready and armed with a barrage of questions about the material.

Then there are a select few who would rather sabotage their entire college admission than to accept that they have some deeply rooted issues, something that they have to work on.

One of the recent students told me, for the third time, that she did not read it. At that point, I have already spent—or rather, wasted, in retrospect—three 2.5-hour sessions with her. She had a plenty of time to read it; she was given the link at least two weeks before our first session. She booked her second session more than three weeks after the first, and her third, five days after the second.

If that were the only transgression, I may have been in a more generous mood. Unfortunately, the kid had a history from the start. Her very first email to me, apparently asking for my coaching, could be summarized as thus:

I’m sending you the copy of my resume because [the liaison] told that I should send it to you to get it checked. I’m currently in [a city in Asia] and very busy during the day, so please be mindful of my time zone and availability. I ask you for your cooperation in a timely and expedited manner. Thank you.

Her “resume” was four pages long and contained 17 different activities. I told her that she needs to cut it down to at most two pages, gave her the link to Turning the Tide, and told her to book her first session as soon as possible. Three days later, she proceeded to book her first session, set to happen two weeks after the initial exchange.

After the first session, during which she told me that she “read Turning the Tide but does not remember it much”, she ghosted me for more than three week. I did not mind, since I had a few students I have been working with—ones who are earnest, conscientious, and passionate. Then suddenly, she booked her second session with a short notice.

The very first thing she told me as soon as the video call started was that she needs to finish her resume within nine days. Her school teachers gave her the deadline to turn it in, if she ever wants to receive the letters of recommendation. Although I was taken aback by her lack of manners, I tried my best to help her. I asked if she’s familiar with the material and ready to discuss it; she told me that she actually hasn’t read it at all. I had to spend at least half of the whole section explaining the principles all over again.

At the end of the lesson, I offered her an earlier appointment in the weekend, a gesture I rarely offer. Instead, she decided that she needs whole five days to work on it, and booked it on the same day as my mother-in-law’s birthday party.

For the third session, for which I had to stay home and miss out on the family gathering, she showed up with a resume that was still nowhere close to being done. I assumed that she would have at least read Turning the Tide, and asked her how she could improve the descriptions, given what she has read and what we have discussed so far. Then she told me that she did not read Turning the Tide, only four days before her supposed deadline.

After the lesson, I sent her an email, pointing out her lack of manners and efforts and asking her to bring me a summary of what she read within two days in order to proceed. I also asked that if she’s suffering from mental health and motivational issues from too much stress—which I have witnessed a few times from my students and experienced myself a couple of decades ago. I added that, if that’s the case, I strongly encourage her to seek help and support from her school as soon as possible. A few hours later, her dad contacted me and told me to go fuck myself, and she removed me from the co-editor and blocked me.

I could only guess that she decided to roll back the resume to her original version, for there is no way she could finish the current one in time. Since I am no longer bound by the contractual clauses, here are some highlights from various drafts of her resumes, paraphrased here with some comments but sticking to the original in spirit as closely as possible.

• Raised the revenue of [an impressive-sounding five-digit monetary value in foreign currency, roughly equivalent to 2,000 U.S. Dollar] through [fundraising sales]; donated 10% of the profits to a charity.

• Created an informative video that was widely appreciated by everyone, from students to parents and teachers.

• Spent 300+ hours packing the cooking ingredients which will be distributed to 20+ local care houses for the elderly.

• Donated money to support coding classes for girls in Afghanistan [under the Taliban rule, implied], empowering them with valuable opportunities.

• Improved my mentee’s mathematical proficiency.

• Performed multiple times at prestigious venues such as local bars and public busking area.

• Composed and performed an original piece [of music], showcasing exceptional creativity and musical talent and receiving acclaim from both peers and professional critics.

• Featured in the school's monthly magazine for outstanding contributions, earning praise from faculty and peers alike.

• Transformed a Cambodian family’s living conditions through house building [as one of the teenager volunteers during a three-day event] and ensured high standards of safety and comfort [as a teenager volunteer] by collaborating with the local builders.

• Started volunteering to aid the local homeless population, distributing essential cooking ingredients to homeless people.

Good luck.